Not Your Average
by joudama
Summary: This Sky Pirate cannot be maintained by mere buttons. Written for fictunes on insanejournal. Prompt: Not Your Average Thug.


**Title: **Not Your Average...

**Author:** joudama

**Fandom:** FF12, pre-game

**Characters:** Balthier/Fran

**Rating:** worksafe

**Warnings:** kind of cracktastic.

**Word count: **855

**Prompt: "**Not Your Average Thug"

**Summary: **This Sky Pirate cannot be contained by mere _buttons_.

**A/N: **This fic has no redeeming value at all. _None_.

--

"Don't go near that one, mate," the bartender said with a wicked grin, once he noticed where it was Balthier's eyes kept going.

"Oh?" Balthier said, raising an eyebrow.

"She's been patronizing here a week and already has made quite the name for herself. Last man that tried to approach found himself on the receiving end of those claws," the bartender said with a grin. "And I hear tell that a Bangaa who tried to accost her after she left discovered just how powerful a kick a Viera truly has."

"Ahh, but any villain who would try to accost a lady is deserving of such a reward," Balthier said, tilting his head before taking another swallow.

He bartender snorted at the description of the Viera as a 'lady.' "Still, a Viera'll have naught to do with a hume, let alone a _male_ hume. Set your sights for the evening on someone a little more attainable. Half the women here and more than a few of the men would be at your arm easily," the bartender said with a laugh, and Balthier had to concede that point was quite true. He had been getting looks all evening, and it was the very fact that the Viera _wasn't_ looking that got his attention.

He always did like a challenge, after all,

"Ahh, but I'm not your average hume," he said with a cocky grin, raising one finger as he made his point. "I'm the great Sky Pirate Balthier, leading man in this story of adventure!"

The bartender snickered. "Pity then, that this story is doomed to be a tragedy. Or perhaps comedy is a better word. Doubtless I'll be getting a fine show this evening," he said with a grin, and right with that, Balthier had to prove him wrong. It was a matter of pride now. So he finished off his madhu, and with a wink at the bartender, was on his feet and heading towards the Viera sitting quietly by herself at a table in the corner. She was a cool one, even for a Viera--not that he'd had much dealing with Viera, but that would be changing tonight. Up closer, she was a prettier thing than he'd first thought, with large eyes and white hair framing her face in a wild mane. She regarded him cooly, but she wouldn't be the first to try and play him off with coldness.

It was always the cool ones that had the most fire in them, when you got right down to it.

"And what, I wonder, is such a fair and rare beauty as yourself doing in a den of pirates and thieves?" Balthier said with the smile that had always worked quite well for getting the recipient of it into an accommodating state of mind.

The Viera raised one eyebrow, slowly. He had the impression that had she been hume, she would have been giving him a sly smile, but he had no idea quite where that thought came from.

She seemed to be weighing her words, as if trying to decide if she was actually going to say anything at all, before she finally spoke. He kept a little smile to himself when she opened her mouth to speak. It was only a given she'd say something, after all. "Although I currently lack a ship due to unforseen events, seeing as I am a sky pirate myself, I do believe I fit within this place quite well," and her voice was low and smooth, and Balthier decided he could definitely listen to that a bit more. "And a word of advice, if you would wish to heed it. You might wish to check your attire carefully before you approach a lady, good sir. I believe you have missed a button that is sorely in need of fastening." She looked pointedly down at his crotch and then back up, and this time the left corner of her lips twitched up.

He thought briefly of becoming embarrassed, but really, what good would turning red and slinking away do? It certainly was _not_ in the nature of a leading man to slink away. So instead he raised his jaw, gave her a confident grin, and said, "A man such as myself cannot be contained by mere buttons."

Both corners of her lips twitched at that.

"It would seem you were the recipient of a fine show at my expense, one that is normally only given at great price or promise. However, as tonight I feel generous, I'll only ask a single glass of madhu in return," he said, and helped himself to a seat and mentally patted himself for smoothly fastening that traitorous button as he did. "The name is Balthier, and I believe we share an occupation."

Her eyebrow went up again, but instead of finding himself gutted by those rather impressive nails of hers, he instead received a long stare that he was _certain_ hid amusement, and then, "...Fran," and since that was a name if he'd ever heard one, he figured he was doing just _fine_.

He _was_ the leading man, after all.


End file.
